Exactly a month ago, I turned 21! *cue confetti* It’s not that exciting of an age milestone, since I have already decided not to drink (and it doesn’t even matter in Germany, where the legal drinking age is 16). It does mean that I am an adult adult, according to my youth pastor (so Ian, if you’re reading this: HA!). Anyways, I meant to share this with you on my actual birthday, but y'know life happened. Sooo here are 21 things I’ve learned by 21:
One: God should be your first priority, always
I learned this lesson my senior year of high school, and it was a turning point in my spiritual life. Long story short, I had been asking God to change my priorities so that He would be first in my life; He responded by asking me to give up my senior musical. It was still one of the most difficult decisions I’ve had to make, but it was worth it. Putting God first will always be worth it.
Two: Spend more money on experiences than things
I used to have the habit of spending any cash I got immediately. While I still like shopping, I’ve realized that material things will eventually be thrown away, but new experiences become memories that last forever.
Three: Struggling with something you’re good at doesn’t mean you’re no longer good at it
Writing has always been a passion and a natural ability of mine, but I struggled with it my senior year of high school. I was so distraught that I even questioned whether I should major in English. Now I know that I was growing as a writer (and as a person.) I wouldn’t the writer I am today if it weren’t for those experiences and all the consequent ones since then.
Four: Do the thing that scares you
The first time I went to Germany, I could hardly contain my excitement, but this time all I could feel was anxiety. The only reason keeping me from backing out was the fact that it was too late to do so. I cried myself to sleep the night before my flight and broke down in the airport twice, because I was so, so scared. I was literally flying into the unknown. Over halfway in, I’ve repeatedly thought that studying abroad was the best decision I’ve made. If I had listened to my fear, I would have never known that.
Five: Keep a journal of some kind
A prayer journal, bullet journal, daily diary, travel journal – anything. It’s encouraging to look back at where you’ve been and how you got to where you are today.
Six: Find an accountability partner/mentor
I’ve only just begun to develop relationships with a few mentors in my life, but I can already see the benefits. Having people in your life who encourage and challenge you is crucial for growth, in all aspects of life, not just spiritually.
Seven: People will admire your commitment to your convictions
People notice when you stand for something. In my high school yearbooks, especially senior year, many people wrote that they admired my strong faith. I think people will have greater respect when you stick to your core values, even when they don’t share them, than being wishy-washy.
Eight: Dating outside of the church is a terrible idea
Just don’t do it. It breaks my heart when I see students in my youth group dating people outside of the church. Honestly, I think that dating during your teen years is a little stupid now that I’m out high school (though I will make some exceptions for high school sweetheart stories). Figure out who you are instead. Make friends. Chase Jesus.
Nine: Being apostolic is a blessing
I’m blessed to know the truth and to be a part of a church that declares it. I love how we worship and I’m not ashamed of it. Attending a Lutheran college has challenged me to know what the Bible says about the Holy Ghost, baptism, and oneness – it’s helped deepen my understanding of apostolic doctrine.
Ten: It is a-okay to be single
I’ve been single for all 21 years of my life, and while I crack jokes about needing to find a man or dream about my wedding day, I am honestly comfortable with being single. Most of the problems you think would be solved by having a significant other will probably still be there anyways. Work on yourself first.
Eleven: Spending time with God during the week makes Sunday service even better
The body cannot go a week between meals; neither can the Spirit. When you fill up your spiritual gas tank during the week, you have more to give on Sunday, to usher in His presence, to minister to others, and to understand the message better than before.
Twelve: Take care of yourself
In whatever way works best for you, just make sure you cover all aspects – physical, mental, and emotional. Keeping healthy routines is a major key to mastering this whole adulting thing. Know what you need to function at your best; I’ve learned to protect my sleep schedule the most.
Thirteen: Most people are in your corner
There are so many people who support you and would love to help you if you reach out – they want to see you succeed. Ask for advice and listen. I’ve noticed this especially in my church, and I have been meaning to utilize the wisdom available to me.
Fourteen: Avoid procrastination
Apparently I’m still learning this, as I wrote a 5-page paper the day before it was due this semester (I got an A it's fine), but nobody’s perfect. It’s important to understand the cause of the procrastination (lack of motivation, uncertain instructions, fear), and find a solution.
Fifteen: Shyness isn’t an excuse for shallow worship
I heard this preached at Wisconsin Winter Youth Convention one year, and it changed my perspective on worship. I was a fairly shy child growing up. I remember how I would think so much about when to raise my hands during worship. That altar call was the first time I danced freely to worship God. It’s not about drawing attention to myself, but about expressing my love and gratitude for what God has done for me.
Sixteen: Not caring what others think makes life more fun
Seriously, who cares? Live your life, wear the crazy outfit, laugh obnoxiously – just be you. It is so freeing to not worry about one or two people who will judge you for it. They’re lame, anyways.
Seventeen: You simply cannot rely on your own strength when facing temptation
There are a few things that I regularly struggle with, and each time they come up, I try to resist on my own, with my own willpower, but it has never worked. Scripture, prayer, and fasting are tried and true for a reason – they work.
Eighteen: God won’t ask you to give something up if it won’t benefit you too
This idea isn’t mine originally, but I have found it to be true in my own life. I read voraciously. Through conversations with my youth pastor wife’s, I realized that many of the books that I loved dearly had content that did not please God. I felt Him prompting me to no longer read them. It’s happened repeatedly, and the last time I felt the twinge of conviction, I heard this refrain: “This is mercy, this is grace; this is mercy, this is grace.” God wasn’t asking this of me to punish me: He’s asking this of me to refine me for something greater.
Nineteen: Sometimes years you’ve known someone doesn’t matter when it comes to deep friendships
When I turned 19, I shared 19 things I learned by 19, and one was that finding a close group of friends can take time, which is still true. However, I have made a couple of friends within the few months I’ve been abroad that now I can’t imagine life without.
Twenty: College is way better than high school
College can be insanely stressful, but you couldn’t pay me to relive my high school years.
Twenty-one: You are more capable than you think
I think this is the most recent lesson I’ve learned. While I am generally self-confident, I doubt my own ability often more than I let on. There are many things I thought I couldn’t do, such as being the news editor for my school’s newspaper. I’ve realized half of adulting is pretending you know what you’re doing and learning along the way. This fall, I’m going to be the editor-in-chief. While I’m nervous, I know I can do it. Whatever that thing is you think you can’t do – I bet you actually can.
Those are some things I’ve learned in my short 21 years, and I’m curious to know what you’ve learned – let me know in the comments!
